“Advancement will always draw opposition. When preparing to build, prepare to FIGHT!”
Just as the process of creating gold takes years to process, as does the element of trust. The amazing part about the comparison is…the one that you cannot see is actually more valuable!
Four stages??? What!?
I know right. I initially thought there were only two stages to manhood; boy and man. But this is not so! This email is going to give a brief overview of the different levels of manhood. If you have any questions be sure to shoot me an message! I love hearing from you.
Before I go into detail on the stages of manhood, let me add that this will be apart of my second book entitled, “The Power of the Male”. Which brings insight to the value a male carries in the home. As well as the effects of his absence. I’ll keep you posted on it’s debut! Let’s get started!
The boy is the first stage of manhood. It is also the most crucial because this is where one is most malleable and begins to take on perceptions of life. The boy is dependent. He does not possess the “know how” to take care of himself. Take my baby boy MJ for example, he can’t feed himself, bathe himself, nor can he change his diaper. How much he thrives in life is solely dependent upon my wife and I. The boy is also selfish by nature. When MJ is hungry, he is not concerned with the fact that I may be tired, or that I’ve had a long day. A boy lacks compassion because he cannot see past his own needs and satisfaction.
The Man is the second stage of manhood. The average male never makes it past this stage. I’m sure you are pondering at this point. Maybe even skeptical, which is a good thing, but just keep reading! It’ll all come together in a moment, lol.
The man is an individual that has reached a state of independence. He can do for himself when it comes to meeting his basic needs. But this is the only thing that separates the boy from the man, because he too is selfish by nature.
Prior to God coming into my life, my thoughts surrounded money, status, and women. Typical right? Well my desire for these things was all based around serving myself! I wanted the money to get what I chose. I wanted the status because I thought it meant respect. And I wanted the women because I thought that more women made me more superior in the eyes of men. I didn’t realize money is just a tool used to save lives! Just like an ambulance truck. I never thought that status meant nothing if there was no one that respected me enough to follow. It didn’t dawn on me that I was bringing shame to the fathers of those women, stealing from their future husbands, and burying myself in the spirit of lust to the point that it would cause problems in future relationships! How many men can you name that think this same way?
You see, the man is a very common being. His selfish ways are why divorce is over 50%, and it’s why over 2/3 of homes don’t have a father present. A boy becomes a man at age 13 (relatively speaking). I say the age 13, because it is around this age that God begins to bring judgement on youth. 13 is the age that a young male can think for himself and make rational decisions. 13 is the age at which a youth can be subject to an eternity in hell if he is not living right according to the knowledge he has received. So I figure, if a young male is old enough to go to hell, he must be old enough to be considered a man. You agree?
The gentleman is the third stage of manhood. I know you heard the term before, just never thought to place it in the category of males. Being a gentleman is a way of life, just like being a boy or man is. There is a different thought process that comes along with this stage. Notice is used the word THOUGHT. That’s because manhood is not based on age or physical stature. It is based on one’s mindset.
The stage of gentleman is were true transformation has taken place. He is independent, just like the man, but he has left human nature (selfishness) and adopted the role of a helper. He has become selfless through compassion. He realizes that it is not all about him, and he is compelled to offer help to those that may be in need. Some males are shown how to function in this stage through the love of God. The Holy Spirit is often referred to as a gentleman by Believers. He is called a gentleman because He will not press himself upon you, instead he prefers to be invited.. The gentleman has the ability to sustain from violence or sin in the time of temptation. The gentleman chooses to sleep in his own bed at night opposed to the girl’s house that he is really feeling! The gentleman realizes that true strength is in his ability to remain calm in the midst of a storm. Are you a gentleman?
We wouldn’t be The Academy of Kings if the king wasn’t the ultimate stage of a male. I address males as “king”, and ever so often I will get the question, “Why do you call me king bro?” My response is always the same. I say, “Can you name something that is more powerful than a king?” They usually take a few seconds then reply, “Nothing comes to mind.” Exactly. The greatest position you can think of that a man holds is that of a king. Well when you accept Jesus Christ as your Lord and Savior, you inherit His Kingdom as well. Romans 8:17 says, “Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.” That tells me the moment I become a child of God, I also become a heir to His Kingdom. I become a “co-heir” with Christ (whom is the King of Kings). Well if Jesus is a King, and I am his brother, than I must be a King as well! Wow!
The king in his truest nature is simply a servant leader. He is a slave to those that place their lives in his hands. A king has reached the level of interdependence. He realizes he cannot do anything great by himself, and he seeks to identify and cultivate the gifts in those around him for the advancement of the kingdom. The king is also a selfless individual. The Word of God says that if any man desires to be the greatest among the people he must first become their servant. Lastly, the king is functioning in his purpose. Every move the king makes is based on how it aligns with the vision and mission he has set to carry out. His moves are always done with the end goal in mind. Never circumstance.
What Every Man Should Know
As many of you know, I am a young father. And with Father’s Day approaching I have been doing a lot of reflecting. During this time I had a thought that really made me pause in my steps. I had to stop and do a self-check. As leaders of the home, we often look ahead to calculate whether we are on track. We make the adjustments necessary to avoid any trouble in the future. Some questions that I started asking myself were, “Am I moving wisely?”, “Could I be doing better as a husband and father? If so, where do I start?”, “Am I setting a clear example of what I expect in my home?”
I think it was really powerful what Joshua said to the people of Israel. He made a declaration to everyone regarding what his home would stand for. He said, “Choose for yourselves, this day, whom you will serve…But as for ME AND MY HOUSE we will serve the Lord.”
Wow! Joshua understood something. He realized that as a leader of his home:
1. He had the authority to speak for everyone under his roof
2. He needed to set the standards in place. Not only for his home, but for others that would dwell among them.
3. He had to cast a vision and mission for the home.
4. Understanding is only conveyed through communication.
Authority to Speak
As men, we are granted the privilege to be the heads of our homes. Just as a king is granted authority over a kingdom or given territory, we have the same role in our home. When guided by the Holy Spirit, we can serve as the PRIEST to usher our family into truth, prosperity, and wholeness. Joshua understood that in order to see this through he would have to give direction and order to those in his home. He had to speak for them. Just as the president speaks for those that reside in the United States. There are tons of studies that show the direct correlation between fathers that are active in their family and those that are not. The results are astounding.. Google it some time!
Rules are a Good Thing
Everyone has rules. Rules help to bring order…order allows room for productivity and peace…peace is priceless! As men of our homes, it is not only important that the core family understands what the mission is, but those outside the home must know as well! This prevents boundaries from being crossed. For example: If no one is allowed to be on the phone during dinner, and everyone in the home understands the law, that’s a good thing. However, it is just as valuable for the people calling in to know that you do not accept phone calls during dinner. This makes it easier to uphold the integrity of the law.
Cast a Vision, Set the Mission
The Word of God talks about the fact that people, generations, and legacies, die due to lack of knowledge. The abilities of a strong leader is the ability to see into the future and orchestrate his assets in a way that allows them to be protected and progressive. In the home, it is the male leader that receives direct instruction from God concerning the direction of the home. From this point, the male must manage what he has been given. When a man does not set the mission for his home, his family tends to wander without purpose. This is never a good thing because we were all designed with a purpose to fulfill.
Communication, Communication, Communication
John Maxwell, the World’s #1 Leadership Expert, said that he believes the greatest gift a person can possess is the ability to communicate. Research by the respected Center for Creative Leadership (CCL) in the U.S. found that the primary causes of executive derailment involve deficiencies in emotional competence. Each year, CCL serves more than 20,000 individuals and 2,000 organizations, including more than 80 of the Fortune 100 companies. It says the three main reasons for failure are difficulty in handling change, inability to work well in a team, and poor interpersonal relations. The Carnegie Institute of Technology carried out research that showed that 85% of our financial success was due to skills in “human engineering”, personality, and ability to communicate, negotiate, and lead.
In a study carried out in a large national insurance company in 1997, they found that sales agents weak in emotional areas such as self-confidence, initiative, and empathy sold policies with an average premium of $54,000, while those strong in 5 of 8 emotional competencies sold policies on the average worth $114,000. Tons of studies have been done to show the correlation between good communication and productivity. The same principles apply for us as Kings of our home! For one it may look like a well behaved child, for another it may be his spouse finding her purpose and flourishing in it.
We MUST set the standard for the home if we desire to see our loved one thrive! They look to us as the individuals to do so! So, what’s the mission of your home???
Think about the last time you said the words, “I give up…” Did you have a smile on your face? Were you in a joyous mood? We are willing to bet you weren’t!! You see, you were not designed to give up anything. Especially not when it pertains to your destiny! It does not matter how long it takes… It does not matter what you have to go through…Don’t quit! Greater is He that is in you than He that is in the World! It is through God’s might that we are made strong. Do you think you would be as great as you are now if God had given up on you? Absolutely not! Stay faithful to what God has spoken into your soul. Continue to water and nurture that which has been planted, and watch the Father grant increase!
What are your intentions? Why are you in your career? For money, a title, or to help others. Your intention behind every decision you make will determine the outcome. We focus on serving others and our community through the development of male leaders. What is your focus?
Living in the Will of God: Essential Steps to Manifesting the Favor of God (Orlando, FL: The Academy of King, 2016)
Good afternoon local leaders, and businesses, we are thrilled to invite you to participate in the community multicultural unity celebration. A celebration designed to bring people together from all different walks of life through music, dance, drama and speaker presentations. The focus of this celebration is on embracing diversity, creating community, unite, and inspire all to come together in unity. This celebration is not about one community, it’s about all communities, local leaders, and businesses, coming together. Unity in our communities is designed to bring back a reminder of the goodness of humanity as well as a vision for going forward.
|Event:||Multicultural Unity Celebration|
|Sponsor:||Lion of Judah|